sorry friends-long time no news: for those who want 2 know: this is my last posting-you know my email address so drop a line if you want to. i'm keepin this open so i can check you guys' xanga from time 2 time-espec Drew's!

1. job going well; daily challenges but God's helpin' me deal w/ pride & fear

2. going back to school for AA degree in multimedia design-always been a strong interest of mine. just getting the nerve to do it

3. bought a Ford Focus '03 last sat-God's provided it-i pray it'd serve others as he's blessed me with other people's help thru out my life

4. moving to a beautiful house w/ 4 other girls (reminds me of college!)-1 whose name is Molly (not my Spins) & who's becoming a wonderful friend!

5. might go to Boston 4 evangelism to m's this summer-

6. my lil sis graduated from high school & my littlest brother is on football team (very proud of both)

7. got my green card! i'm now a permanent resident-after i fix sthg on it, i'm applyin' for citizenship. Praise God!

8. learning to play guitar on my own & to speak/write arabic at a community college! excited!

9. love my intl students still-prayin' The Lord will give me courage 2 step into what i'm passionate about

10.. had 10 dates in 1 hour! 4 of 'em were a hit but there's been no email exchanges, fine w/ me, i just wanted 2 have a blast! And i did! how? i tried christian speed dating-went w/ friends. a couple from my church put it together. my philosophy: if u sit around waiting for prince charming, he ain't gonna come, he's already got Snow White (most of the time in his head) -so I went to the ball like Cinderlla-left a shoe, we'll c what happens. No one believed i'd do sthg like that but let me tell you: i had a great time & it wasn't creepy. 

Finally, be safe, smart & sober-its the law!

Where do people go when they die? Where do Christians go when they die? Do they go straight to heaven? Is there Scripture that backs that up? 1 Thess. says that when Jesus comes back, the ones that are asleep will rise first, then those who are still awake will be caught up in the clouds w/ Him. Then why do we say that people are in Heaven or Hell soon after they die? Jesus did say to the thief "Today you will be w/ me in Paradise". So which one is it?

Lately, i just don't know. I'm here, I know i'm supposed to be here. I do nothing. I go to work, eat, sleep maybe go to the movies. Yesterday the highlight of the day was opening a bank account, which wasn't much of a highlight considering i may have to pay to do online banking. Jerks! Oh and Stars Wars III was supposed to be a good time too, I ended up envying Darth Vader & Obi-One or is it Obi-Wan [...]who seemed to have a more exciting life than me. How cool would it be to fight w/ one of those light saber things?

I don't know what i want to do w/ my life at this point. I thought about grad school, i dont know what i would be studying...I dont know what kind of career i want...if i even want a career...I have 2 have one at least for a few years, i have bills to pay. It seems like nothing's workin' out, I want to do ministry now but i cant get a hold of anyone. I'm not moving, at least it feels that way. My family & I are buried w/ financial difficulties, we only have 1 car & its transmission is going to blow out unless we come up w/ a little more than $1000.

I ask God am I supposed to be doing something? Am I not listening? Following directions well? You know some people who get called to ministry refuse to do it & God has to pursue them for years for them to say "Ok Lord, I'll do it". Now I'm here saying "Lord I'm willing to do it" and the answer is "Wait". Wait for what? That too I don't know. I'm tired, I dont even know from what. I'm ticked off & I'm frustrated.

I've never experienced someone close to me dying before. Its such a different feeling. I dont think thats the reason for my feeling crappy this week though. I want to say that "life sucks" but that wouldnt be true...Hmm, Becks maybe I should've joined you in the mountains for some reflection time.

"Be still & know that I am God, I will be exalted among the nations, I will be lifted high by the peoples" Psalm 46, my version

No matter how frustrated or desperate I get, the Holy Spirit never lets me end on a sour note & always gives me the Word. He's good. I can't deny that.